Gender: Male
Species: Human
Profession and/or purpose:

StarCon Captain

Games seen or mentioned in:


Locations seen or mentioned in:
Voice Actor(s):


Raemes Tipper Quirk (Raems) was the son of Sludge Vohaul's sister. He was an ambitious, petty and opportunistic sycophant, slithering his way towards the upper echelons of the StarCon hierarchy. His dislike of Roger Wilco was immense and he had designs on Beatrice Creakworm Wankmeister.[1] He was the operational commander for the G6 Quadrant.


From an early age he was groomed to become the High Grand Master and Commander of Star Con Fleet, and became a highly decorated Captain of the Star Confederation.

When the Sariens had attacked the Arcada, StarCon sent him to protect the ship. However, he had given his crew shore leave at a local Monolith Burger, and arrived just late enough to see the Arcada explode. It became a small black mark on his record. He had hoped to make amends by destroying the Deltaur, but when he had warped in to do battle, the ship was no more having been destroyed by Roger Wilco. A year or so later when the identity of the person who had plotted with the Sariens had been revealed to be his uncle, he vowed to regain the family honor, and restore his reputation by attacking Sludge's Asteroid of Doom. His armada had made a wrong turn, and were late to the asteroid, and arrived moments after it had been destroyed by Roger. He vowed to take revenge on Roger.[2] Limping back to StarCon, it would be almost a century before he encountered Roger, who had enrolled at the StarCon Academy.

His last scheme for personal angrandizement was a clandestine effort with the Genetix coporation to dump toxic wastes illegally on planets in the G6 quadrant. During the Pukoid incident he was known as "Dung Heep".[3]

While at the Academy, he interrupted Wilco while he was in the Bridge Simulator. Tensions increased further between Wilco and Quirk when Ambassador Beatrice Wankmeister came onto the scene. Despite attempts from Quirk to be the Alpha Male in Wankmeister's eye, her interests seemed to lie with the heroic Janitor Wilco (Perhaps it's Quirk's hairpiece, or is it roadkill?).

During his mission, Quirk received a message from "Maggot", which however used StarCon frequences, and was intercepted by the SCS Eureka. Soon after the SCS Goliath docked with the SpaceBar where Quirk met and talked with "Maggot". There, he also saw Wilco and stopped to taunt and harrass him, and also dare him for a match of Battle Cruiser. After the match, Eureka's engineer Cliffy brawled with a Goliath crewman and Quirk ordered to take him to the brig.

Not long after returning to the SCS Goliath, Quirk found himself in trouble (and sludge) from Pukoids that entered the ship via the shuttle bay. After being struck by Pukoid matter, Quirk sent a distress call during the onset of his mutations. Wilco received the distress call from Quirk, but was unable to make it to Quirk's location fast enough to save him. Freshly mutated, Quirk sought to "Puke out the entire galaxy, starting with StarCon." Quirk could not fulfill his plan, as the Ambassador had stolen the warp distributor cap. Quirk attacked the Eureka above Thrakus, but Wilco hid the ship in the orbiting asteroid belt.

Although Wilco managed to save the rest of the SCS Goliath's crew, Quirk escaped into a giant blob of floating sludge and became the Quirkoid, where he commenced attacking the Goliath. However, he was sucked up by the SCS Eureka's RRS. The SCS Eureka was self-destructed with both the blob and Quirk inside.

Raemes T. Quirk is presumed dead.

Personality and traitsEdit

Quirk is a well dressed thorn in Wilco's side throughout the entirety of Space Quest V. Quirk constantly refers to Wilco as a "Broom Jockey" and, although a Captain, still sees him fit only to clean the galaxy's garbage. It's this low opinion of Wilco that spurs Quirk to assign him the SCS Eureka, a StarCon Garbage Scow.

Following the loss of his fleet due to actions of Roger Wilco, Raems apparently suffered time dilation on his attempt to return to StarCon, as he was only 38 at the time SQ5[4] although over a century had passed between SQ2 and SQ3.[5] He has also apparently had rejuv treatments, transplants, and hair weaves in an attempt to stay young, and outlive those who would have remembered him (so while he may appear to be 38 he is apparently much older).[6]

Behind the scenes Edit

Raemes T. Quirk's name is a parody of James T. Kirk, Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise in Star Trek: The Original Series. It's not a coincidence that William Shatner, wore a toupee while playing Kirk.

The Space Question Companion ties Captain Quirk into the history of Sludge Vohaul. Although this does not appear in the game (but neither contradicts the game either). The companion only received help from Mark Crowe as Peter Spear even received prototype information for SQ5, some of which describes a different version of Thrakus (the preview chapter in the 1st Edition of the Companion: Excerpt from Space Quest V: Roger Wilco in the Next Mutation) before the finalized version of the game), and even less input from Scott Murphy, as he had already split from the Two Guys by the time the companions were being written (Though Scott Murphy did reference elements that appear in the Companions in the SQ1VGA hintbook, or the Spears referenced behind the scenes material from Scott Murphy).

Dialogue Edit

  • "Cadet Wilco! Just what in the name of the seventh star cluster are you doing in the Bridge Simulator?! Get your sorry carcass out of there and get back to class where you belong, space cadet!And if I catch you in there again without permission, I'll have you tossed out of the academy so fast you'll get warp disorientation!"
  • "You buffoon! You can't even scrub a floor without a road map! It's obvious you're not academy material."
  • "As you can see Ambassador Wankmeister, we run a very tight ship here at the academy. This institution is the pride of the Star Confederation and one of the best of its kind in the known universe."
  • "Here we are Ms Wankmeister, this is the main rotunda. It was dedicated on Stardate 09-2097.27... Ambassador...?"
  • "Excuse me, ambassador, but we should be heading to the conference room now."
  • "Hold on a minute, Cadet. Looks like you missed a spot! Heh heh!"
  • "Arrrgh! You did that on purpose, Wilco! I'm placing you on Double Secret Probation: One more screw up and your space cadet days are over!"
  • "Huh? What was that?"
  • "Look, ambassador, we have top-notch ships staffed with the finest crews in the galaxy. StarCon accepts only the best and brightest for fleet training!"
  • "Hey! This is made from real hair... er, ahem... In any case, I'd like to hear more about these alleged dumping sites. Perhaps over dinner this evening?"
  • "Uh... Admiral, I think having the ambassador along would be a good idea. I'm sure the two of us could develop a productive working relationship."
  • "This is the SCS Goliath. Who's using this frequency?! Oh, I might have known--It's you, Wilco. Just what in the name of the seventh star cluster do you think you're doing?"
  • "You pinhead! This is a priority frequency! Now get off this frequency and stay off! Ambassador Wankmeister and I have an important mission ahead of us, and we don't need to be disturbed by idle prattle on the com-link. Goliath out."
  • "This is Dung Heep. What in the Pleiades are you doing on this frequency?!"
  • "I thought I told you never to call me here! Meet me at the usual place and we'll discuss it. Dung Heep out."

(More To be added)

Images Edit


  1. KQ5 Hintbook, pg16
  2. The Space Quest Companion, Second Edition, 382, 383
  3. KQ5 Hintbook pg 16
  4. SQ5 Hintbook, pg 16
  5. Space Quest Companion, 2nd Edition, pg
  6. SQC2E, 383

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